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Oyster Stuffing

Ingredients
  

  • 3 to 4 loaves of dried bread, broken up (preferably white, like Wonder, the stickier the better! Also - these loaves should be dried for at least 2 weeks in advance)
  • 1 cup finely chopped onion
  • 1 cup finely chopped celery
  • 1/2 cup butter, cut into pieces
  • 1 to 2 eggs, beaten
  • 1 to 2 tablespoons poultry seasoning (once you mix it all in you won't be able to smell it, don't worry)
  • Salt and pepper to your liking
  • 1 to 2 large cans of Swanson’s chicken broth (if you like your dressing moist, go for two cans)
  • 1 to 2 cans/jars of oysters (chopped—and don't throw the juice out! That goes into the dressing too)

Instructions
 

For a 10- to 12-pound turkey

  • You'll need a very large bowl to mix this all in, and the only way to do it is with your hands, so wash your hands and prepare to go to work. (I'm serious: just be sure to wash your hands and prepare to get dirty. It’s the only way this works. Don't be a wus!) Add all the non-liquid components into the bowl and then slowly add the liquids, until all the bread has absorbed it. You want the stuffing to be sort of slushy. And that's it!